Thinking

Am I making the right decision? Somehow the fast approaching exam for medical admission gives me doubt if I'm making a right decision entering a new field. Though medicine is related to chemistry, they are still a completely different field. The thought of being separated from chemistry really sadden me.

I have had lived a life that revolves around my current field for almost 7 years already. Chemistry has been with me through good and bad times. It even has seen me battle against my challenges in life and has been with me in my every moment of change.

Though I had consistently announced to people how much I dislike chemistry and how much I'll be better off without it, this realization that I'll be soon leaving give me a very torn apart feeling. How I wish I didn't drive it away, knowing now how much I am in love already with it.

There's no turning back from medicine. I can't take back my promise to a lot of people already and especially from my father. Somehow what makes me happy in my decision is the possibility of being able to serve God through this field. Through medicine I know I'll be able to help a lot of God's people and be a servant to His people.

This doesn't mean an end between I and chemistry. I will not say goodbye at all. I believe that in the future, I'll be able to find ways on how to make the two fields work to my advantage and be an instrument to be of service to God through His people.

Disappointments

I went to school today for the purpose of meeting a client. I waited the whole day patiently until she came. But it seems I'm not equipped with the skill of sales yet that I wasn't able to catch her attention and her approval regarding the business proposal I have for her. well... it is just tiring....

Fortunately, a friend of mine agreed to accompany me until she comes. It was fun. It is my first time to eat fish outside home (because I'm afraid of removing the bones ehhe). I watched also "One More Chance". The movie was kind of disappointing. I don't like someone leaving his girlfriend for his ex-girlfriend. I just don't like that idea especially when the new girlfriend is true and real. Somehow the movie really is disappointing... but of course for rating sake, Bea and John needs to reconcile for the love team....

Trades...

I was doing my experiment in the laboratory when my partner came in with a sad face. I learned what happened and it saddened me also.

I went out of the laboratory and was weighing an empty vial when an idea came into my mind. I was thinking if I trade with God and sacrifice myself... my thesis in particular to save my partner's experiment... am I willing to do so?

The thought bugged me a long time. I don't want to sacrifice my thesis. Maybe myself but not my thesis as much as possible because I also have some difficulties in my experiment... but the idea kept on and on....

This was me... I learned that somehow I'm already starting to love myself. I remembered that when there were cases such as this, I usually trade with God to make my life miserable instead for other people.

This change somehow make me feel awkward towards myself but on the other hand, relief that even if it is very slow... somehow I'm learning to value myself....

My very first blog

This is my very first blog in this site. well... I have several other existing accounts but I always end up getting frustrated as to what I am about to write and if I'll be able to make some sense to what I'm going to write....

That is why my blog is named as Onwards.... because I meant it to be continuous from this day onwards without moving from one account to another. I do hope I'll be able to make this happen but I am very much positive....

I do hope this blog will be followed and so on... see you soon!